Would you rather live your life according to the approval of others or aligned with your truth and your dreams?

2012 was the year I've been struggling knowing myself...I was lost. Trying to find if life is way beyond what I've seen and experienced today. You see, most of our lives are so predictible.
We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, owing the latest gadget—we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?
In a daylight, I refused that thought, but at night it would consume me. What a catastrophe. Wasn't I happy and blessed with a nice home, family who loves me unconditionally, friends who always be there for me, weekends spent roaming in malls and hangout places of my choice, buying ever more aplliance on credit? I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life, so why did I feel like none of it resembled me? Why did I feel so overwhelmed with duty, tired of being an engineer, collegue, daughter, sister and a good friend?

And this, finally, was how my whole idea about this 3 months of travelling began to gel. I absolutely needed to get myself back to Borneo somehow, on my own dime this time. This was evident. Though I couldn't yet imagine how to do it, given my chaotic and disturbed life.
It wasn't so much that I wanted to throughly explore the places themselves; this has been done. It was more that I wanted to throughly explore one aspect of myself set against the backdrop of each places, in a place that has traditionally done that one thing very well. It seemed a voyage of self-discovery.

A few months later, I am living in Borneo. I have quit my job, put all belongings I had left in my parent's house and packup 2 suitcase, camera, lappy, bicycle and there, my journey begins...

04.10.2012

“Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it.”
- Morrie Swchwartz-