I came from an interracial family, where my Dad is a Chinese and my Mom is a Malay. For decades my family members are surrounded by all sort of races. For example, my Dad's Godmother is an Indian and my Mom's best friend is a Chinese. Since small we were taught by our Dad to differentiate people by their hearts, not based on their skin colours. In other words, my sister and I grew up to be a 'colour blind' person.
I did quite a lot of travelling. Either in or out of Malaysia, when people ask me "What are u?" My answer will always be "Malaysian", not Chinese, not Malay. Recently, due to PRU13, people keep on asking me, "Hey, u pilih mana? Melayu atau Cina?" I was stunt. Never in my life I was asked to choose which race do I favour more. And the worst part is, some were fighting based on race instead of the party itself. Let me tell you why do I love to stay in Penang so much. Inspite of a beautiful island, Penang is an island where you can see a lot of interracial activities. I always see Malay, Chinese and Indian hanging out together such as in kopitiam, by the seaside or simple as at mamak's stall. There is no barrier language since most of them understand and speak Hokkien and Malay. If you don't trust me, go to the market. There, you can find Malay and Indian talking in Hokkien and Chinese speaking fluently Penang's Malay dialect. Some Penangite especially the younger generation has forgotten how beautiful this can be. How this can bring harmony and peace towards our country. Politic and Race are 2 different matters. I am sad to find out some of them trying to ruin this, using race as the main objective to win people's vote.
Regardless BN or PR wins, I am still proud to be call Malaysian, neither Chinese nor Malay.
Sunday, 5 May 2013
Monday, 15 April 2013
How do you wake up the next morning knowing your friend won’t be in your life anymore?
When you lose someone you love, you may feel a lot of nothing, at first. It is a numb shock as your mind sits very still within your body and the words keep echoing over and over in empty halls. Everything outside will clamour around you with its normal, blatant brightness, while inside, in shock, you sit blindly without lights, without noise, without feeling; reluctant to understand.
I went on autopilot to survive because trying to absorb such an enormous shock was not an option. Nothing seemed real. In the beginning everyone was running around trying to make me feel better, so my grief went on hold. At times I would withdraw from talking about Azrul's death. My sister wanted to talk about him everyday, but I would often come home not wanting to talk at all. The fact is, I never want to talk about Azrul simply because my greatest fear is accepting that he is never coming home. I'll do anything in the world to make sure I'd avoid the feelings and thoughts.
But somehow it started to face me...
With all emotions and energy flying around, I weren’t sure who I were anymore, and I were channelling energy in all the wrong directions. I started to play the “what if” game in my thoughts each day. Once you let it in, it can consume you. I was not so much exhausted with the process of grief, but more about how busy my mind had become with everything but that. I would lie awake at night going over and over how, why, or what if. I became obsessed, convinced that if I worked out how, I could change that day or blame someone else, I could somehow bring him back.
Then I got angry. I got angry at those Suluks who had killed him. There are times where I hold a grudge towards them and drafted out a murder plot against them. How crazy am I for having that thought? Well at that particular time, it doesn't sound ridiculous at all.
There were guilt too, days of it.
"What could I have done that I didn't do? I've been there, the exact place where he was killed and why didn't I found out earlier of this? Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that?" I was wrestling with a cactus, and although, at first, the pain of these wounds might seem to overwhelm the greater agony, I knew that I mustn't let the stinging splinters stay.
Then bargaining came in. I offered everything I have, anything in the world in exchange for just one more day with him so I could tell him how courageous and great friend he is. When the bargaining has failed and the guilt and anger are too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we’ve done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.
Honestly, I am not good in dealing with emotions especially when it comes to loosing someone that is close to my heart. There were days where I called my 'bestest' friend and cried like a child. He told me not to hold my feelings, feel whatever I was feeling then and now, so I could tell others in future how to handle and overcome grief.
They say time heals everything...But I'm still waiting.
Al-Fatihah to my dearest late friend, Azrul.
I went on autopilot to survive because trying to absorb such an enormous shock was not an option. Nothing seemed real. In the beginning everyone was running around trying to make me feel better, so my grief went on hold. At times I would withdraw from talking about Azrul's death. My sister wanted to talk about him everyday, but I would often come home not wanting to talk at all. The fact is, I never want to talk about Azrul simply because my greatest fear is accepting that he is never coming home. I'll do anything in the world to make sure I'd avoid the feelings and thoughts.
But somehow it started to face me...
With all emotions and energy flying around, I weren’t sure who I were anymore, and I were channelling energy in all the wrong directions. I started to play the “what if” game in my thoughts each day. Once you let it in, it can consume you. I was not so much exhausted with the process of grief, but more about how busy my mind had become with everything but that. I would lie awake at night going over and over how, why, or what if. I became obsessed, convinced that if I worked out how, I could change that day or blame someone else, I could somehow bring him back.
Then I got angry. I got angry at those Suluks who had killed him. There are times where I hold a grudge towards them and drafted out a murder plot against them. How crazy am I for having that thought? Well at that particular time, it doesn't sound ridiculous at all.
There were guilt too, days of it.
"What could I have done that I didn't do? I've been there, the exact place where he was killed and why didn't I found out earlier of this? Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that?" I was wrestling with a cactus, and although, at first, the pain of these wounds might seem to overwhelm the greater agony, I knew that I mustn't let the stinging splinters stay.
Then bargaining came in. I offered everything I have, anything in the world in exchange for just one more day with him so I could tell him how courageous and great friend he is. When the bargaining has failed and the guilt and anger are too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we’ve done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.
Honestly, I am not good in dealing with emotions especially when it comes to loosing someone that is close to my heart. There were days where I called my 'bestest' friend and cried like a child. He told me not to hold my feelings, feel whatever I was feeling then and now, so I could tell others in future how to handle and overcome grief.
They say time heals everything...But I'm still waiting.
Al-Fatihah to my dearest late friend, Azrul.
Thursday, 4 April 2013
Bizzare Food: Balut
What is it? Balut is a boiled 18 days old fertilized duck embryo egg, containing the partially formed embryo of a duck, surrounded by egg. Imagine a tiny, half-formed head, a bit of a beak, formative guts and bones and the odd feather, all surrounded by egg and you’ve got balut. It’s not a pretty sight. When I first had someone describe to me what Balut is, I genuinely thought they were having me on. Though a snack much beloved in some part in Borneo, balut to us is a torture of an item, a bizarrely-conceived if not abjectly demonic dish. I threw up the moment they cracked the shell open and tipped it up to suck out the juice. It is one of the the most disturbing delicacy I've ever seen in my life.
My question is not about the food itself, rather why someone decided to eat this in the first place? Some claim that balut has ‘aphrodisiac’ qualities, hrmmmm..I wonder if it's true.
My question is not about the food itself, rather why someone decided to eat this in the first place? Some claim that balut has ‘aphrodisiac’ qualities, hrmmmm..I wonder if it's true.
 |
| Could you eat the fetus of a duck...just days from hatching? |
Tuesday, 26 March 2013
Support Malaysian Heroes
100% of our T-shirt profit goes directly to our troops in Ops Daulat, in the form of 'care package'. My sister and I were inspired to create this care package when one of our close friends (more to the brother we never had) was killed in an ambush by a group of armed Suluk in Kg.Sri Jaya, Semporna, while our brother, uncle and friends are still serving in Ops Daulat.
We have read one of the blo...g entries written by U.S Marine veteran himself recalling that packages n letters were what kept them going on during the hard time. After reading it, we begin to think of all the care packages we could do for our warriors to keep them going while they are battling in Ops Daulat.
These people protect the very freedom Malaysian have become accustomed to and the land we held close to our hearts. They deserve the never ending thanks and supports of the Malaysian people. One way to thank the men serving in Ops Daulat is to send them care packages. They have left their homes, families, and friends to serve in Lahad Datu and Semporna. Regardless where the person is stationed, being away from familiar sorroundings are difficult.
This is where a care package comes to play. Whether sending the package to a family member, friend, or total stranger, showing the true appreciation these people deserve for the sacrifices they are making will not only make their day, but we as the sender's as well. Men serving in Ops Daulat are away from their families for extended periods of time. Few have sons or daughters born while they are away, many must leave their little ones behind for someone else temporaly raise while they serve the country. When placed in perspective, it is hard to imagine that something as simple as care package makes a difference, but it does, big time! Just saying "Thank You' and showing enough love to take time to prepare and send a token of appreciation not only helps keep our warriors spririts up, but also reminds them of why they are serving in the first place: To protect this great country and the citizens that live within it.
So, what will we send to them? What are the items in the care package?
The items don't have to be costly or elaborate. They can be practical, sentimental, or to share with the whole teams/troops. It can put smiles on your warriors' face and let them know that they are always on our mind.
1. Coffee
2. Maggie
3. Canned Food
4. Power Bars
5. Crackers/ Assorted Biscuits/ Homade Cookies
6. Sunflower Seeds
7. Sweets and Chewing Gum
It is important that these care packages get there. Whether a huge care package party, or just a few friends and neighbours wanting to send a couple of boxes. Our warriors personnel stationed miss home, their family, their friends and the lifestyle that they are accustomed to. Sending a care package with some reminders of Malaysia, gives them a little piece of the country they are fighting to protect. It also provides them with the knowledge that the people they are protecting are thinking of them, and care enough to send something as simple as a box of cookies. When you are stationed far away from your family, a box of cookies really isn't simple at all :)
For those who has purchased our T-shirts, we say 'Thank You' for your support. For those who are interested in supporting us in future, you are most welcome. You will not only wearing our tees to show your support but at the same time you are helping our warriors to get through the hard times.
Let us all together pray for Sabah and our HEROES to come home safe.
We have read one of the blo...g entries written by U.S Marine veteran himself recalling that packages n letters were what kept them going on during the hard time. After reading it, we begin to think of all the care packages we could do for our warriors to keep them going while they are battling in Ops Daulat.
These people protect the very freedom Malaysian have become accustomed to and the land we held close to our hearts. They deserve the never ending thanks and supports of the Malaysian people. One way to thank the men serving in Ops Daulat is to send them care packages. They have left their homes, families, and friends to serve in Lahad Datu and Semporna. Regardless where the person is stationed, being away from familiar sorroundings are difficult.
This is where a care package comes to play. Whether sending the package to a family member, friend, or total stranger, showing the true appreciation these people deserve for the sacrifices they are making will not only make their day, but we as the sender's as well. Men serving in Ops Daulat are away from their families for extended periods of time. Few have sons or daughters born while they are away, many must leave their little ones behind for someone else temporaly raise while they serve the country. When placed in perspective, it is hard to imagine that something as simple as care package makes a difference, but it does, big time! Just saying "Thank You' and showing enough love to take time to prepare and send a token of appreciation not only helps keep our warriors spririts up, but also reminds them of why they are serving in the first place: To protect this great country and the citizens that live within it.
So, what will we send to them? What are the items in the care package?
The items don't have to be costly or elaborate. They can be practical, sentimental, or to share with the whole teams/troops. It can put smiles on your warriors' face and let them know that they are always on our mind.
1. Coffee
2. Maggie
3. Canned Food
4. Power Bars
5. Crackers/ Assorted Biscuits/ Homade Cookies
6. Sunflower Seeds
7. Sweets and Chewing Gum
It is important that these care packages get there. Whether a huge care package party, or just a few friends and neighbours wanting to send a couple of boxes. Our warriors personnel stationed miss home, their family, their friends and the lifestyle that they are accustomed to. Sending a care package with some reminders of Malaysia, gives them a little piece of the country they are fighting to protect. It also provides them with the knowledge that the people they are protecting are thinking of them, and care enough to send something as simple as a box of cookies. When you are stationed far away from your family, a box of cookies really isn't simple at all :)
For those who has purchased our T-shirts, we say 'Thank You' for your support. For those who are interested in supporting us in future, you are most welcome. You will not only wearing our tees to show your support but at the same time you are helping our warriors to get through the hard times.
Let us all together pray for Sabah and our HEROES to come home safe.
" Its them who salute the flag, who serve beneath the flag,
And whose coffins are draped by the flag "
Wednesday, 20 March 2013
Heroes are Humans
Heroes are something we create, something we need. It's a way for us to understand what's almost incomprehensible, how people could sacrifice so much for us. As for my uncle and my friends (who are now battling in Ops Daulat, Semporna), the risks they are taking, the wounds they are suffering, they do that for their country. Inspite of fighting for their country, some died for their friends, for the man in front, for the man beside him. And just for that, they are my heroes.
You see, being in a battle doesn't only required physical readiness but mental and emotion play their part too. To be awakened by a text or a call from one of them in the middle of the night, saying that they were scared of not returning alive by tomorrow, that really hit me. Some called and cried after having nightmare of their late friend, who had been killed in the battle. They fear of death, fear of never being able to see their families again and thus fear of losing what they are fighting for in the first place: defending our land.
The memories of their loved ones grieve their hearts. They often feel like reaching out to their near ones and sharing their grieve with them but their duty towards their nation deprives them of these opportunities. While guarding the place day and night, while being away from their near ones, they deprived of all the little joys we are having right now. There is no certainty that they will return home when they want to.
Try to put yourself in their shoes, would you ever possibly survive?
Our heroes have marched to the boundaries of our nation to serve our motherland. We can at least take a small step forward to help them cope with their affliction and bring smiles to their faces.
Check out our Facebook Page, 'Support Malaysian Heroes' or my next entry, to find out what can you do to help them.
You see, being in a battle doesn't only required physical readiness but mental and emotion play their part too. To be awakened by a text or a call from one of them in the middle of the night, saying that they were scared of not returning alive by tomorrow, that really hit me. Some called and cried after having nightmare of their late friend, who had been killed in the battle. They fear of death, fear of never being able to see their families again and thus fear of losing what they are fighting for in the first place: defending our land.
The memories of their loved ones grieve their hearts. They often feel like reaching out to their near ones and sharing their grieve with them but their duty towards their nation deprives them of these opportunities. While guarding the place day and night, while being away from their near ones, they deprived of all the little joys we are having right now. There is no certainty that they will return home when they want to.
Try to put yourself in their shoes, would you ever possibly survive?
Our heroes have marched to the boundaries of our nation to serve our motherland. We can at least take a small step forward to help them cope with their affliction and bring smiles to their faces.
Check out our Facebook Page, 'Support Malaysian Heroes' or my next entry, to find out what can you do to help them.
"We crawl into our bed with pillows and try to get comfortable.
They crawl under tanks for shades and 5 minutes nap only to be awoken by gunfires"
They crawl under tanks for shades and 5 minutes nap only to be awoken by gunfires"
Sunday, 3 March 2013
A Friend, A Brother & A Fallen Hero
I had a hard time to write this entry. Knowing that I have to start somewhere, as someone told me that writing does help in recovering your sorrow and pain. The worst part of losing someone is to realise that we will not seeing them again. We start wondering if we ever had the chance to say goodbye, what would we say?
I had once been rescued by a young gentleman, Lans Koperal Azrul (who is a friend and the brother I never had) from a local Suluk's captivation back in November 2012, in Semporna. This is the exact sentence used by him, "Biar aku mati asalkan hang selamat". Putting other people first before himself is the kind of who Azrul was. When his team was ambushed at Kg.Simunul, I knew that he fought till the very last of his breath.
To received a call upon his death is not the worst part but to hear how he was killed is. His body was found lying on the jetty where his head was chopped off and fell into the sea.
Emotionally, I'd lost it. I find myself just being a child who couldn't stop crying.
To Amira and Azrul's family, if you are reading this...Azrul was a courageous hero who stood strong and fought to defend the land we hold close to our hearts. His death is a devastating loss for our country, and he deserves our deepest gratitude for making the ultimate sacrifice. Thank you for raising a brave hero, a defender of our country freedoms. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
I'll always be in debt to him who gave his live so we may live ours. He will always live on in my heart and never be forgotten.
I had once been rescued by a young gentleman, Lans Koperal Azrul (who is a friend and the brother I never had) from a local Suluk's captivation back in November 2012, in Semporna. This is the exact sentence used by him, "Biar aku mati asalkan hang selamat". Putting other people first before himself is the kind of who Azrul was. When his team was ambushed at Kg.Simunul, I knew that he fought till the very last of his breath.
To received a call upon his death is not the worst part but to hear how he was killed is. His body was found lying on the jetty where his head was chopped off and fell into the sea.
Emotionally, I'd lost it. I find myself just being a child who couldn't stop crying.
To Amira and Azrul's family, if you are reading this...Azrul was a courageous hero who stood strong and fought to defend the land we hold close to our hearts. His death is a devastating loss for our country, and he deserves our deepest gratitude for making the ultimate sacrifice. Thank you for raising a brave hero, a defender of our country freedoms. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
I'll always be in debt to him who gave his live so we may live ours. He will always live on in my heart and never be forgotten.
 |
| Mohd Azrul Tukiran (September 23, 1986 - March 3, 2013) (Picture taken during our first trip to Mabul Island back in 2009) |
Thursday, 21 February 2013
The Upside-Down House! :)
Tamparuli, district of Tuaran, Sabah.
The first of it's kind in Southeast Asia and among the five upside-down structures in the world (3 are found in Europe and another in Japan). It has been listed in Malaysia Book of Records as the 1st Upside-Down House in Malaysia!
Guided tour is provided, and no photography allowed inside the house. Only a small group of visitors, 5-6 people are allowed to enter the house at a time. Lucky for me, I was the only visitor who arrived at that particular hour.
The house itself is hard to miss, having been flipped upside down, with its floor facing skyward. Everything inside the house, from furniture to household appliances, hover above your head, as the ceiling is actually the floor. It might seem disorienting in the first few seconds, but the fascination of it all takes over.
Similar to Germany’s ‘The World Stands on its Head’ upside-down home, the Upside-Down House in Sabah is a childhood fantasy come to life.
Watch out, you might get dizzy for not getting used of its upside-down orientation! : )
The first of it's kind in Southeast Asia and among the five upside-down structures in the world (3 are found in Europe and another in Japan). It has been listed in Malaysia Book of Records as the 1st Upside-Down House in Malaysia!
Guided tour is provided, and no photography allowed inside the house. Only a small group of visitors, 5-6 people are allowed to enter the house at a time. Lucky for me, I was the only visitor who arrived at that particular hour.
The house itself is hard to miss, having been flipped upside down, with its floor facing skyward. Everything inside the house, from furniture to household appliances, hover above your head, as the ceiling is actually the floor. It might seem disorienting in the first few seconds, but the fascination of it all takes over.
Similar to Germany’s ‘The World Stands on its Head’ upside-down home, the Upside-Down House in Sabah is a childhood fantasy come to life.
 |
| In the garage, Kancil is parked upside-down. |
Watch out, you might get dizzy for not getting used of its upside-down orientation! : )
Wednesday, 20 February 2013
New Zealand in Malaysia?
Desa Dairy Farm, Mesilau, Sabah.
It is 30 minutes drive from Mt.Kinabalu National Park and the largest farm in Sabah with an area of 199 hectares. The road into the dairy farmis not paved. The slow drive on the dirt road can be a tad frustrating but not for so long. I was greeted with a spectacular view of rolling green meadows that stretch as far as to the foothills of the majestic mountain. Every step I made or every angle I looked at, the view was constantly awe-inspiring. For a while, I though I was in New Zealand instead of Malaysia!
Apart from the magnificent scenery, visitors can also observed the milking process . Guided tour can be arranged before hand, otherwise visitors can only observed the milking process without any assistance. The farm is open daily from 8am to 5pm and the entrance fee is only RM3 per person. The best time to visit the farm is around 2.30pm as milking session starts at 3pm daily. There, you can see all the cows are lining up waiting for milking, without any guide needed as if they knew what to do. Cool!
It is 30 minutes drive from Mt.Kinabalu National Park and the largest farm in Sabah with an area of 199 hectares. The road into the dairy farmis not paved. The slow drive on the dirt road can be a tad frustrating but not for so long. I was greeted with a spectacular view of rolling green meadows that stretch as far as to the foothills of the majestic mountain. Every step I made or every angle I looked at, the view was constantly awe-inspiring. For a while, I though I was in New Zealand instead of Malaysia!
 |
| Completely took my breath away with its panoramic view of the ever-present Mount Kinabalu, cool climate and lush green landscapes. |
 |
| View of Mt.Kinabalu |
Apart from the magnificent scenery, visitors can also observed the milking process . Guided tour can be arranged before hand, otherwise visitors can only observed the milking process without any assistance. The farm is open daily from 8am to 5pm and the entrance fee is only RM3 per person. The best time to visit the farm is around 2.30pm as milking session starts at 3pm daily. There, you can see all the cows are lining up waiting for milking, without any guide needed as if they knew what to do. Cool!
 |
Each of the Friesian cattle could produce at least 14 litres of milk a day. The farm is now capable of producing one million litres of high quality fresh milk annually.
|
If you really want to experience the beautiful scenary of an unspoiled farmland, the Desa Dairy Farm is the exact place for you to be in. Do take your time to explore the vast green landscape of the farm to just simply absorb and let the sight overwhelm your sences. You don't even have to fly all the way to New Zealand to do so! : )
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
Kundasang a.k.a East Malaysia Cameron Highland
If you love Cameron Highland, then you will definately love Kundasang : )
Kundasang, located in district of Ranau,Sabah and only 4 km away from Mount Kinabalu Park.With an elevation of about 2,000 metres above sea level, it is one of the coolest places in Sabah with temperatures dropping to 13ºC at night, which unfortunate for me who only brought beach or summer attire during the whole trip.
First thing to do in Kundasang? Strawberries hunt!! :)
So my first stop: the local market.
After the 2 visits, I have decided to call it a day as I was in sheer exhaustion, not getting enough rest since my journey from Sandakan. So I checked in Cottage Hotel and to my surprise it has the best view of Mount Kinabalu from the room's balcony. Luck was on my side that day :)
Say tuned for my next post of Kundasang War Memorial which commemorate the brave Australian and British Prisoners of War who died during the infamous death marches from Sandakan to Ranau in World War II, and people of North Borneo who risked their lives to help them.
Kundasang, located in district of Ranau,Sabah and only 4 km away from Mount Kinabalu Park.With an elevation of about 2,000 metres above sea level, it is one of the coolest places in Sabah with temperatures dropping to 13ºC at night, which unfortunate for me who only brought beach or summer attire during the whole trip.
First thing to do in Kundasang? Strawberries hunt!! :)
So my first stop: the local market.
 |
| I was a lil frustrated with the strawberries, not only unriped and sour but they are also hard to find in Kundasang. You have to reach the market early in the morning and by 11am they are sold out. Locals explanation for this, "Bukan musimnya". What??? My spontaneous respond was, "Strawberry pun ada musim ke? Kt Cameron banyak je smpai terjual.." Then I stopped. Owh shoot, how could they know, they never been in West Malaysia! |
 |
| Blackberries! Love those! |
 |
| You can't find many roses here as there are in Cameron. |
 |
| Vegetables and Fruits. As u can see, all fruits are peeled, sliced and packed. |
Ok, done with shopping and now it's time to get a taste of Sabah's finest Tea!
My second stop: Sabah Tea Plantation, now known as Sabah Tea Garden.
Sabah Tea Garden is the only organic tea farm in Borneo, which makes it the largest single commercial tea plantation in Borneo, with approximated area of 1,000 acres. It is also one of the very few tea plantations in the world certified to produce pesticide-free organic tea.
My second stop: Sabah Tea Plantation, now known as Sabah Tea Garden.
Sabah Tea Garden is the only organic tea farm in Borneo, which makes it the largest single commercial tea plantation in Borneo, with approximated area of 1,000 acres. It is also one of the very few tea plantations in the world certified to produce pesticide-free organic tea.
 |
| Sabah Tea Garden. It was officiated on February 19, 1984 by our then Prime Minister, Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad. |
 |
| A regional brand that has transformed into a national brand, Sabah Tea is now country's third largest take-home tea brand after Lipton and Boh. |
 |
| Green Tea Pancake and Sabah's Milk Tea @Sabah Tea House. Quite impressive I must say. |
After the 2 visits, I have decided to call it a day as I was in sheer exhaustion, not getting enough rest since my journey from Sandakan. So I checked in Cottage Hotel and to my surprise it has the best view of Mount Kinabalu from the room's balcony. Luck was on my side that day :)
 |
| View of Mt. Kinabalu at 5.44pm, shrouded in mist. |
 |
| View of Mt. Kinabalu at 6.27am. The clearest view is from sunrise to 9am. |
Monday, 18 February 2013
Negotiated Infidelity
Throughout my 80 days in Borneo, there was a thing kept on bothering me, which I can't even bare to accept: negotiated infidelity. Not all of them involved in this but most men or women that I encountered with during my 80 days journey in Borneo practising it. Despite being married and making a commitment to one another, they are allowed to have sex with strangers. This is way beyond crazy for me to accept.
For months, I've been looking for a word to describe this kind of behaviour until Taboo was aired on National Geographic Channel. Yes, TABOO is the perfect word!
A taboo is a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behaviour is either too scared or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake which make it sacred or forbidden based on moral judgement and religious beliefs.
I am sure that everyone is vulnerable when your partner is meeting other people. Jealousy starts coming in, trust has been broken, your heart fills with frustration and then a fight...finally it may lead to separation or divorce. But this is not exactly how it happens there. They seem to be okay with it as long as basic responsibilities are been carry out such as providing money and food at home, taking care of children etc.
Weird? Spooky? Well, you judge it! : )
For months, I've been looking for a word to describe this kind of behaviour until Taboo was aired on National Geographic Channel. Yes, TABOO is the perfect word!
A taboo is a vehement prohibition of an action based on the belief that such behaviour is either too scared or too accursed for ordinary individuals to undertake which make it sacred or forbidden based on moral judgement and religious beliefs.
I am sure that everyone is vulnerable when your partner is meeting other people. Jealousy starts coming in, trust has been broken, your heart fills with frustration and then a fight...finally it may lead to separation or divorce. But this is not exactly how it happens there. They seem to be okay with it as long as basic responsibilities are been carry out such as providing money and food at home, taking care of children etc.
Weird? Spooky? Well, you judge it! : )
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
Hadif, the Nemo : )
Whether you are a diver or snorkeller, kids or adults, there is one particular creature which always touches people's heart: NEMO.
It started back in 2003, when Walt Disney Pictures realesed an animated film called Finding Nemo. Since then, clownfish has caught everyone's attention : )
One day, I was asked for a help by a friend of mine to guide his guests for a snorkeling trip in Mataking Island. They are parents with 2 kids, a girl and a boy. Upon reaching Mataking Island, their daughter came up to me, holding my hand and asked, "Can u find Nemo for me?" She was about to turn 6 end of that month, wearing pink Roxy rashguard with a ponytail hair and kept on singing, "keep swimming, swimming, swimming" imitating Dory, one of the characters in Finding Nemo. How can a person resist such an adorable girl?!
So I tried very hard to look out for the clownfish (as I was new in Semporna at that time, snorkeling spot is not my area of expertise) and at last managed to find them somewhere nearby to Mataking Kecil.
The girl was so excited and asked me, "What is his name?" and I said, Nemo. She replied, "No, Nemo is the name of the fish, like I am a girl but my name is Syasha" I laughed and said to her, "Hadif. His name is Hadif".
When I was in Semporna, my mind constantly thinking back home. It is not the fact that I didn't enjoy being there, it's just that I miss my family a lot. So since that day, whenever I think of my nephew, I'll go to that very spot and find Hadif, the Nemo : )
It started back in 2003, when Walt Disney Pictures realesed an animated film called Finding Nemo. Since then, clownfish has caught everyone's attention : )
One day, I was asked for a help by a friend of mine to guide his guests for a snorkeling trip in Mataking Island. They are parents with 2 kids, a girl and a boy. Upon reaching Mataking Island, their daughter came up to me, holding my hand and asked, "Can u find Nemo for me?" She was about to turn 6 end of that month, wearing pink Roxy rashguard with a ponytail hair and kept on singing, "keep swimming, swimming, swimming" imitating Dory, one of the characters in Finding Nemo. How can a person resist such an adorable girl?!
So I tried very hard to look out for the clownfish (as I was new in Semporna at that time, snorkeling spot is not my area of expertise) and at last managed to find them somewhere nearby to Mataking Kecil.
The girl was so excited and asked me, "What is his name?" and I said, Nemo. She replied, "No, Nemo is the name of the fish, like I am a girl but my name is Syasha" I laughed and said to her, "Hadif. His name is Hadif".
When I was in Semporna, my mind constantly thinking back home. It is not the fact that I didn't enjoy being there, it's just that I miss my family a lot. So since that day, whenever I think of my nephew, I'll go to that very spot and find Hadif, the Nemo : )
Sunday, 20 January 2013
Sipadan Island
If you ask devoted divers to list the top dives sites they wish to visit, Sipadan is frequently at the top of the list. It is one of the richest marine habitats in the world and has been rated as one of the top destinations for diving in the world.
Strong currents and steep walls are the hallmark of diving at Sipadan. I still remember the very first time I hit the water, I was struck by the overwhelming number of Green and Hawksbill Turtles, which gather at Sipadan to mate. It’s common to see more than twenty turtles on a single dive. Meanwhile, sharks are a virtual guarantee, from solo White-tip Reef Sharks cruising the wall to schooling Grey Reef Sharks hunting in the deeper plateaus. For the lucky one’s, scalloped Hammerheads emerge out of the deep. Eagle Rays are common, as are Devil Rays. Manta Rays make an appearance when the deep-water currents bring plankton from out of the blue, as do Whale Sharks. The swirling tornado-like formation of schooling Barracuda, Big-Eye Trevally,the giant size Bumphead Parrotfish and thousands Silver Jack fish are the highlights on every diver’s wish-list : )
I must say, it is such a pleasure to dive in Sipadan. One of my Bucket List has been crossed! : )
Stay tuned as more islands updates to come!
Strong currents and steep walls are the hallmark of diving at Sipadan. I still remember the very first time I hit the water, I was struck by the overwhelming number of Green and Hawksbill Turtles, which gather at Sipadan to mate. It’s common to see more than twenty turtles on a single dive. Meanwhile, sharks are a virtual guarantee, from solo White-tip Reef Sharks cruising the wall to schooling Grey Reef Sharks hunting in the deeper plateaus. For the lucky one’s, scalloped Hammerheads emerge out of the deep. Eagle Rays are common, as are Devil Rays. Manta Rays make an appearance when the deep-water currents bring plankton from out of the blue, as do Whale Sharks. The swirling tornado-like formation of schooling Barracuda, Big-Eye Trevally,the giant size Bumphead Parrotfish and thousands Silver Jack fish are the highlights on every diver’s wish-list : )
 |
Me and my best buddy, Fai at Sipadan Island |
 |
Sipadan is the only ocenic island in Malaysia which rise 600m from the seabed. (U can see from the above pic, it turns from turqouise to deep blue outside the floatline) |
 | ||||||
Swirling Tornado-like shcooling Barracuda
|
 |
Giant size Bumphead Parrotfish |
White-tip Shark |
Thursday, 10 January 2013
Would you rather live your life according to the approval of others or aligned with your truth and your dreams?
2012 was the year I've been struggling knowing myself...I was lost. Trying to find if life is way beyond what I've seen and experienced today. You see, most of our lives are so predictible.
We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, owing the latest gadget—we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?
In a daylight, I refused that thought, but at night it would consume me. What a catastrophe. Wasn't I happy and blessed with a nice home, family who loves me unconditionally, friends who always be there for me, weekends spent roaming in malls and hangout places of my choice, buying ever more aplliance on credit? I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life, so why did I feel like none of it resembled me? Why did I feel so overwhelmed with duty, tired of being an engineer, collegue, daughter, sister and a good friend?
04.10.2012
We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, owing the latest gadget—we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?
In a daylight, I refused that thought, but at night it would consume me. What a catastrophe. Wasn't I happy and blessed with a nice home, family who loves me unconditionally, friends who always be there for me, weekends spent roaming in malls and hangout places of my choice, buying ever more aplliance on credit? I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life, so why did I feel like none of it resembled me? Why did I feel so overwhelmed with duty, tired of being an engineer, collegue, daughter, sister and a good friend?
And this, finally, was how my whole idea about this 3 months of travelling began to gel. I absolutely needed to get myself back to Borneo somehow, on my own dime this time. This was evident. Though I couldn't yet imagine how to do it, given my chaotic and disturbed life.
It wasn't so much that I wanted to throughly explore the places themselves; this has been done. It was more that I wanted to throughly explore one aspect of myself set against the backdrop of each places, in a place that has traditionally done that one thing very well. It seemed a voyage of self-discovery.
A few months later, I am living in Borneo. I have quit my job, put all belongings I had left in my parent's house and packup 2 suitcase, camera, lappy, bicycle and there, my journey begins...
It wasn't so much that I wanted to throughly explore the places themselves; this has been done. It was more that I wanted to throughly explore one aspect of myself set against the backdrop of each places, in a place that has traditionally done that one thing very well. It seemed a voyage of self-discovery.
A few months later, I am living in Borneo. I have quit my job, put all belongings I had left in my parent's house and packup 2 suitcase, camera, lappy, bicycle and there, my journey begins...
04.10.2012
“Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We're teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own. Most people can't do it.”
- Morrie Swchwartz-
- Morrie Swchwartz-
Monday, 7 January 2013
An Escape From Real Life
I’ve had somebody explain it to me that what I did , it was an escape from real life. It’s a way that I can go out there and just be in my own terms and escape the harshness of reality.
And to me, it was greater than an exit from something else. It was really like an entrance, its like you are really in tune with the type of person that you want to be and you are comfortable with who you are and the world, and everything that defines you, it seems to be all lined up where it should be.
The feeling is....freedom. just freedom.
And it doesn't last long. Its usually over by the time you take a look back and your
This blog is specially created for my family, friends and all those who been asking me to share my experience during 'soul searching' for 80 days in Borneo. It might sounds a short period of time for some of you, but for me it was the longest seconds,minutes,hours,days,nights,weeks and months..which have changed my perspective towards almost everything in this world.
Stay tuned for the updates! : )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)